Kindness and Sorrow

[The writing group assignment was to tell about an act of kindness done for us or by us. Based on "Kindness," by Naomi Shihab Nye, from Words Under the Words: Selected Poems (1994)
The lines I used:
"Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside,
you must know sorrow as the other deepest thing."]



Before I worked for him, I didn't know anyone like him. I guess my father would come closest. While I was working for him, I learned what integrity looked like, and I wanted to have it too. Working for him wasn't always easy; he was demanding, sometimes too much so. But as the years went on, I gained a huge amount of respect for him--and he did for me. After he retired, in my opinion no one even came close to him in ethics and standards, in running the firm.

When I went into the ministry, I moved away and didn't stay in contact. Years later, I moved back to serve a church in Nashville, and renewed the friendship. He took me to lunch and was so proud of me. "She used to be my secretary, and now she's a minister," he told the waitress. He was like a proud father.

One day not long after that, he came to my church office, with terrible news. "I have cancer, and don't have much longer to live. Will you do my funeral?" Through my shock, came my answer. "I'd be honored."

From then on, the plans were made. He was a very organized person, and he made the plans for his funeral down to the smallest detail. He told me what he wanted. I was to be in charge. A Bishop was to do the eulogy, but I was to be in charge. Another minister was to sing, but he reiterated that I was to be in charge. I think he trusted me to understand how he wanted it done and follow through. As his health continued to fail, I saw him and talked with him, as did his other clergy friends. After his death, the three of us did as he asked. We all loved him, respected him, grieved for him.

Soon after his funeral, his son called me, and told me of his bequest to me. I was humbled by his generosity, and by his remembering me.

He was one of the finest men I ever knew--like a father, a mentor, a friend. It was a rare friendship in our modern business world, based on mutual trust and respect, rather than power games or intimidation. A man from the old school, a gentleman, in the best sense of the word. Rather than lecturing about integrity, he lived it. I hope I can follow that example in my own life.