Waiting for Better Thoughts

As many of my friends know, this has been a difficult spring for me. In writing group, I've tried to deal with some of the emotional stuff. This entry reflects it.


From
"You Reading This, Be Ready,"
by William Stafford

"Starting here, what do you want to remember?"
. . . . .
"Are you waiting for time to show you some better thoughts?"


Yes, I'm waiting for better thoughts.
I'm waiting for a better place to be.

What do I want to remember?
Not this--not where I am right now!

It seems that every day is dark now.
And I try to dig out of the darkness.

I open the door, and Toby and I go out.
But before we make the circle, the tears come.

And so we come back home.
Come in and close the door.

I know it will get better--it always has.
It's spring, not winter, and the sun shines.

It's not dark and gloomy outside--
Just inside.

The effect of the flood was devastating.
But it didn't impact me or mine.

Waiting for the "new glimpse" the poet mentions.
But I can't find it.

I withdraw into my cave.
Because I can't stand to impact others right now.

Every Monday, I think, "Maybe today.
Maybe this week will be better."

And as I go through the week, I still carry the hope,
"Maybe next week."