This Beautiful Place

Carmel Point
by Robinson Jeffers

"The beautiful place defaced with a crop of suburban houses--

" . . . Meanwhile the image of the pristine beauty
Lives in the very grain of the granite, . . . ."

From ""The Selected Poetry of Robinson Jeffers" (1988)
first published in 1954


The most beautiful place we ever lived was the Pacific Northwest.
Driving up the west coast highway--northern California, through Oregon, into Washington,
Destination--Seattle, and a job with Boeing.

The tall evergreens on either side, forming a lush canopy as we passed through,
We'd dropped our friend outside San Bernadino, letting her find her own way to home and job.
We made it through Snoqualmie Pass, then dropping down toward the huge city.

The most beautiful city I'd ever seen,
Cascades on one side, Puget Sound on the other, and Lake Washington running through.
Mercer Island connected by its floating bridge--now to find a place to live.

First home on Mercer Island, an apartment overlooking the water,
the small shopping center and popular nightspot close by,
"The Islander," fun place for my pool-playing husband, and dark beer with our new friends.

Mercer Island was also where the rich people lived,
with their seaplanes and sailboats and big yachts parked on the water beside their homes.
No little fishing boats to be found. What had we moved into?

On a clear day we could see Mt. Rainier in the distance,
Stunning scenery everywhere we looked.
And lush gardens, with the "rhodies" and "azzies" as high as the rooftops.

And no one seemed to think there was anything odd
about all the wealth and blatant consumerism,
Water sports and mountain climbing in summer, ski slopes in the winter.

In the wintertime, the highway through the Cascades had snow higher than the Jeep top,
Poles along the way to guide the snowplows.
Oh yes, don't forget the rain--from September through May--the sound of tires on wet streets.

It was a magical city for us, beautiful beyond belief.
But a chance encounter in the library a few days ago,
the lady told me that it's different now--suffering from urban blight.

I'm glad we saw it then, in its good years, leaving happy memories.
Our first adventure as young marrieds, birthplace of our daughter.
Our first real home together--and perhaps the best of them all.

I Always Knew, but I Didn't Know

After "Things I Didn't Know I Loved: After Naxim Hikmet,"
by Linda Pastan


I always knew I loved the sound of rain on the roof of the upstairs bedroom
at Beth's cabin.
And snuggling down under the covers and the feel of the soft linen sheets,
so smooth, so cozy.
But I didn't originally like the afternoon sun shining through the skylight
into my eyes.
But now even that is comforting, because her home is such
a home to me.

I always knew I loved the aroma of homemade bread, which my mother
used to bake,
And as I came in from school, I'd know something wonderful
was in store.
But when I was the mom, and baking the bread, it became much more
than simply taste or smell,
It became a symbol of who I was as mother, and my identity
as earth mother.

I've gone through so many stages in my life--from daughter to wife and mother,
and now to grandmom,
And the years as professional, to student, to minister, and now retiree.
And all the work that has gone into that life, and the stress that has
accompanied it,
That I'm still trying to understand who I am.

The question of, "Who will I be when I grow up?" is a
continually moving target.

Who Am I?

After recently attending my 50-year high school reunion, I find myself again considering my own identity. Who am I, and where have I come from? In writing group today, the word drawn was "aware," and the item was a red clayish stone


I am newly aware of who I am, and where I come from--Appalachia. The red stone makes me think of Appalachia. I've lived in several parts of the country during my lifetime. I grew up in Oak Ridge, TN (Appalachia), attended two years of college in Southwest Virginia (still Appalachia). Over the years I lived for three years in Seattle (Pacific Northwest), five years in Knoxville (East Tennessee again), two years in Idaho (Palouse wheatfields), and two months in Tucson, AZ (desert Southwest). The rest of my time has been in Nashville. I've lived through the end of World War II, Korean War, Viet Nam War and its protests, Civil Rights years, Desert Storm years, right up to the present times of turmoil and political bickering. (I no longer watch television, but get my current events from the newspaper. TV news makes my stomach hurt.)

Through my life I've been a student, a secretary, an administrator, a graduate student, a minister, and a retiree/part-time library tech. I've been a wife, mother, grandmother, and now a single woman on my own. I've taken piano lessons, art class, weaving class, been a stitcher and am now trying to write. I'm sure there have been other interests that I'm forgetting.

I just got back from my 50-year high school reunion in Oak Ridge, and now am plunged back into Appalachian literature and folk culture. Another time of transition begins. Who do I want to be this time around? We'll see. A "hippie hillbilly" sounds pretty good.

Some of us have more history than others. At our core, we don't really change, but how we view ourselves does. (Thanks, Ellen.)