Diving Around

Writing group worked with "Diving into the Wreck," by Adrienne Rich (from Diving into the Wreck: Poems 1971-1972)


"I came to explore the wreck.
The words are purposes.
The words are maps.
I came to see the damage that was done
and the treasures that prevail."
(From Adrienne Rich's "Diving into the Wreck")


I need to write, what I have discovered. words as purposes, words as maps. I need to re-examine the wreck; I need to re-examine the damaged structure. And glean, one by one, the treasures that have survived. And there are treasures that have survived.

Rereading the journals from all those years ago. Hearing again my words, my mantra, going again and again through the same experience. I ask myself, "Didn't I learn anything? How could I keep going around and around in circles?" It was like a deadly whirlpool--I rushed in, then was caught in the dizzy swirling, down to the bottom and back up again. I pulled myself out, crawled up on the beach, coughing and choking. Lay there until I finally got my breath back. Then, instead of walking away from the water, thankful to escape the madness, I turned around and went right back into the water, into yet another whirlpool. And the experience repeated itself. Again and again.

Counselor Mary Elizabeth was the Coast Guard boat, who picked me up and brought me to land. And warned me not to go back into the water. Eventually, reluctantly, I heard her voice and what she had said, over and over again. And eventually, I walked up the beach and away from the water, found a new place to be, totally different and protected from the beach.

Twenty-five years later, I returned to the beach--fortunately very briefly. And then I went home.

The treasures that prevail still need to be identified and claimed.